it’s been a long time since I’ve written on here, so I have way too many thoughts to share at once.  not sure where to begin. or where to go from there.  here’s some quick bullet point thoughts/happenings:

-For spring break I brought my friend jessica Navarre home to oroville with me for the first few days of break.  It was super fun to be able to share my beautiful hometown with her and to show her the magic of northern california.

-Also during spring Break, Kurt’s initiative led our church to sponsor a showing of the film Call+Response in our movie theaters which is a film that details the global human traffiking situation of today.  It is a film that seeks to make people aware of the situation, and that tries to inspire them to not only get depressed, get mad, and get fired up about it, but that pushes them to do something with that passion.  When I was watching the movie, God spoke to me very clearly, and he filled me with excitement and passion against this injustice once again, and I have more to tell about this at a later time, but the bottom line is that God loves the broken, the down-trodden, the oppesssed, and that’s exactly who these slaves are.  He fully identifies with them and they are his people, and he is calling his Church to be a part of the movement that will free them from slavery.  I’m on board.  and I’m excited.  and I’m trying to figure out what comes next.  So far I’ve been being conscious of my purchases and activities as a consumer, and I’m fasting and praying for the slaves in our world.  And i’m doing a lot of research and trying to brainstorm how I can be involved further.  I’m also getting into conversations with people, trying as best as i can to be a voice for the voiceless.  “It is not permissible to add to one’s possessions if it is done at the cost of another man — that has only one true name and that is exploitation.” (from “Cry, The Beloved Country”).  I’m trying to make sure I make the switch from being a part of the problem to being a part of the solution.

-I’ve begun painting.  I find that if I don’t have an outlet to create something outside of my self for very long, I get kinda antsy.  I’ve been feeling that way a lot this semester, and because of a happenstance offer by my artist apt.mate, I discovered that I can kind of paint.  So I bought some starter supplies and am loving it.

-the semester is almost over and I’m going to Peru for 3 weeks as soon as the school year ends.  then i’ll go home for a week.  then i’m going to be spending the summer doing a church ministry internship in san francisco.  I’m super excited about this opportunity and to see how God will partner my fresh eyes and passion with the wisdom and the experience of the pastors that have been in the city for years in order to further extend his touch in the city to the broken lives there.

– I’ve also just found out that I get the opportunity to be the main speaker at the Norcal district Junior high summer camp this summer.  I’m super stoked about this.  i love junior highers. and i think i’ve got some good stuff to share with them.

-I also just watched a video about a new financial stewardship initiative that my home church is doing.  it’s called C3.  in short it stands for campus, community, and compassion.  expanding our current campus to meet the needs of the people within the community.  furthing our involvement with local endeavors to minister to those in our community and to build relationships with one another.  and to expand the ways we live compassionately by tying ourselves in a partnership with a community somewhere else in the world where we will commit to do life “with” them for 5-10 years or so.  We not only want to help where we can, but we want to learn, we want to love, and we want to get to know them and have our hearts and mind intertwined with theirs so that whatever affects them affects us and whatever affects us affects them.  This video that they made to explain C3 literally brought me to tears because it’s just another testament to the willingness of the people of Oroville who are in this church to truly do what God is telling them.  I love that our church is a constantly moving, growing, changing organism.  it is alive.  and God is on the move.  and I couldn’t be prouder of being from oroville — not because it’s a great town.  in fact it’s a super super broken messed up town.  with a lot of broken and messed up people.  but some of those broken and messed up people belong to a church family that’s willing to admit that we’re all broken, and that we need Jesus, and that we need each other.  and I pray that someday I get to be a part of the daily life of that church family and the community of oroville once again.

-I also have felt God telling me lately that in order for him to use me in the ways he wants to in the coming days, weeks, months, and years, it is essential for me to get to know him by getting to know his whole story.  So, I’ve decided that it’s about time (long overdue actually) that I read the entire scriptures in order to get a more full picture of this history that my life is extending of the Christian Church.  So, starting yesterday, I’m going to be reading the Bible in 100 days.  and I couldn’t be more excited about it!

-lastly, Klaus and Martina Arnold (the Rector of EuNC [my school in Switzerland] and his wife) are at PLNU today for meetings so I’m going to run off now and crash their luncheon so that I get to see them!  I’m so excited.  They are some of the best people I’ve had the chance to meet in my travels and I love them dearly!

-that’s my “quick” update.

So, I’ve now officially moved back to the states.  I still accidentally catch myself telling people about “where I live in Switzerland” and I have to correct myself with “well, where i lived.”

I’ve never really permanently moved away from anywhere before.  I moved away from oroville, but I still come back here on most breaks from school.  I moved away from San Diego when I moved to Switzerland, but I knew I had to go back at some point to finish up school at loma.  But now, all of a sudden, I feel that i’ve actually experienced my first real move in life.  and i feel something very akin to grief.  I feel culture shocked and jet-lagged and swine-flued. I’ve been back a full week now, and I’m honestly struggling to adjust back into things.  and i think maybe part of me doesn’t want to adjust.

and i don’t know why it feels like this.  I love being home.  I always love being home. i have amazing friends and family and friends who’re like family.  but i’ve also made some really great friends who’re also like family and now i live half a world away from them.  and my heart hurts.

I keep telling myself to be grateful for the time I had in switzerland.  and I am grateful.  I also am a little bit scared though.  This last chapter of my life was honestly extraordinary.  and I’m a little bit afraid of what it will be like to go back to normal life.  But, i’ve got this crazy plan…

the plan: trust got to continue making my ordinary life a full life, an extraordinary life.  that’s pretty much all i’ve got right now.  i don’t know what this next chapter will feel like.  I’m gonna try to let God continue to do incredible stuff in and through me though, and I’ll let you know how that goes.  In the meantime, please pray for this time where I’m trying to figure out how to adjust back into the culture without forgetting the lessons I’ve learned and without coming across as a houighty touighty european wannabe.  I’m sure there’s a balance out there somewhere…

I really will be missing the community aspect of life in switzany though.  It’s a really unique thing I’ve gotten to be a part of, and I’m going to miss doing life with all of them.

There are chestnuts on the ground, and the mornings and evenings are filled with a slight chill and sometimes fog.  Fall is slowly arriving here in Busingen, Switzerland.  (for those who didn’t know, I returned for a second semester to European Nazarene College.) 

Many things are just as I left them.

The Rhine is still breathtaking.

The Alps are still in view on clear days.

The Fields are still vast.

The Forest is still dark.

Cezi is still my RA.

I still begin every lunch meal with a large salad.

The pace of life is still quiet.

I am still involved in the “spiritual life” team which helps plan chapel.

I still get to be a part of “rice and prayer”

Ben still tries to get people to play soccer every friday afternoon.

F&F still happens every Friday Night.

We still go to the Walker’s on sunday nights for TV watching.

My English grammar still suffers.

But, many things are different, as well.

I have a different roommate.  Good to be with my old Loma roomate, Kate, again.  But I didn’t realize how big of an impression Jenna had made on my life.  I miss sharing life with this special gal. But I’m happy to be sharing life with Kate again. 

I have to fight for quiet time this semester.  The tyranny of the urgent has hunted me down. The haunting noise of society came with me this semester. It feels less like a safe haven, and more like regular life.  I have to learn how to live within this new tension.

I have to take more gen ed classes and less ministry classes. It feels more like real school. I’m not trying to savor and soak up every bit of every ministry class that I have here.  I am learning German, though, which is handy.

I am not the only Californian.  This sounds silly, but really it makes a huge difference.  California has it’s own culture, and I learned last semester how to balance that culture and all the cultures here into a precarious balancing point.  Now with more weight on the californian culture from the others here, I find myself falling to the california side of things into a comfortable groove.  This is bad because I do not learn as much, and I am not as attentive to the appropriateness of my culture to those of others’.  I’m exhausted by just trying to balance relationships all the time.

There’s so many americans.I got used to forgetting about what country we were all from.  But with all these other americans here, it’s hard to forget.  Especially when an American gets going on the whole “Well we do this where I’m from” kick, like it’s so easy to do without thinking about it. 

I don’t have as much money. I want to travel, to see places and people, and collect stories.  But it’s all having to happen on a budget, and trying to figure that all out is hard.  Last semester was kinda my splurge semester.  This one is back to real life in many ways.

I’m determined to not gain the 18 lbs that I did last semester.This means eating different, which is hard because fried and fattened foods come in abundance here.  And the desserts…. oh the desserts.  Conscientious eating choices are hard to make while here… but even so, i’m really trying.  Again, last semester was a splurge semester.

I’m trying to be one hundred percent present.Last semester I left to go home for the summer with the thought: “I am so ready to go home and see my family and friends and church.” and it was easy to be ready for this, because I was comforted by the knowledge that i would be coming back to busingen in 3 months time.  Now, though, I know that when I go home at the end of the semester, that’s it.  So, now I’m trying to soak it all up, but because of murphy’s law or something, I’m missing home a lot more this semester than I did last semester.

There’s a lot of new people. This has been a cool thing to see the personality’s of different people unfold.  I’m really enjoying these new individuals and the ways they bring new sight to the community.  They’re a fun bunch, and I’m glad to have them here.

I miss the old people. I miss Jenna and Lars and Signe and Rubyand Tammy, Katelyn, Christin, and Nathan…. and yes, Brady, I even miss you.  =)  I especially miss the Brady-Victor duo-ness of last semester, and I miss walking into the kitchen, talking to Jenna while she baked delicious treats and hearing her say things like “Ten cuidado!” or “This is the thing” or “Bag (pronounced “beg”)”.  As I heard Bekky describe it as one, it’s like have your heart ripped out twice a year when you’re able to make such good friendships that can only last so long.  I’m trying not to think about the next heart ripping session that will come with the Christmas break.

Today Michelle brought a good thought to us in our study abroad students meeting.  She talked about the steadiness of the Chestnut season.  As Acorns have made me think about at home, Chestnuts have now made me think of some things.  As the coming of fall is signified by these nuts on the ground, I’m reminded that lots of things can change in a year of life, since the last time the acorns or chestnuts fell.  This time last year I was at loma and I had no notion of ever going to switzerland in my life.  Now I’ve lived here for 7 months.  A lot can change in a year.  But still, somethings stay the same.  Life has a rythm.  God has a rythm.  God is the same.  His covenant with us stays the same.  His grace remains the same.  His love remains the same.  His providence remains. His glory remains.  And these things won’t change no matter how much else changes in life.  Just as the acorns and the chestnuts will always fall, every autumn, no matter how much change the other seasons bring.  A rythm exists amidst the chaos.  God reigns steadily over this ever-changing world. He reigns over this ever-changing me.

I Landed ship in Bari, Italy.

 From there I took the train to Roma where I met my parents!

And we visited lots of sites and saw many things that strange and wonderful, familiar and old.

San Sebastian’s church: we went into the catacombs here. However no pictures were allowed underground.

Then We went to a separate country: Vatican City. (Smallest, and richest country in the world and which is protected by the esteemed Swiss Guards.)

There were lots of incredible things in the vatican museum… including lots of naked men statues which had been demasculinated.

and both the sistine chaple and St Peters Basilica (we climbed the dome) were absolutely incredible!

That night we followed Rick Steve’s night walk which took us through different piazza’s, but the most memorable part was the Bernini Fountain of Four Rivers (especially since I had just read Angels and Demons).

The next day we went to the Colloseum.  Absolutely mind-blowing.

Then across the way to the Roman Forum. the center of ancient roman life in the capital.

The forum was a menagerie of temples, houses, political buildings, and memorials all fallen to ruins.  However, there is a place of current life there, to this very day: The mound of dirt marking the spot where the body of Julius Caesar was burned is still adorned with fresh flowers from loving and dutiful romans.

Also attached to the forum was Palantine Hill where all the emperors built their palaces.

We then visted the Mamertine prison where Paul and Peter escaped from their cell:

  And then on to the new rome. Capital Hill.

Then we hit up the Pantheon. However one of the bishops was having a private concert given so we weren’t allowed to go inside.

Then we hopped on the train and headed to…

POMPEII

In pompeii they had ancient style fastfood joints also.

                                 And they had indoor plumbing supplied by the gravity leveraged by building these big water arches throughout the city.

Even some of their mosaics on walls and floors were still preserved with perfection.

Then we went on and stayed in a quaint coastal town called…

SORRENTO

the whole time we were in italy we loved eating in the restaraunts everynight.  This was one of our favorite waiters because he came and gave all the ladies these lovely flowers. 

Venturing onward we trained our way to….

FLORENCE — FIRENZE

We went to the Uffizi, and the piazza where the David stood for years

                           We also saw the incredible Duomo.

so, I promised I’d tell ya the rest of the places i went after the semester ended so here’s some of the high lights and pics.

I finished my last final (actually the night before it was supposed to be), packed up all my belongings and put them in storage except my backpack, bade farewell to the students that would be leaving while I was away traveling, and I headed off for an adventure.

Train to Basel, stayed the night on floor of hostel dining room after wandering streets of basel for hours alone at night trying to find said hostel without knowing directions or address.  Flew from Basel to London. Sat in outter part of London airport for 9 hours. Flew from London to Athens. Wandered streets of athens trying to find next hostel. found it.

GREECE:

So, I was in ATHENS and saw:

The Acropolis: where even the marble ground is ancient.

And I went to the ancient Greek Agora:

And I saw some amazing artifacts in museums.

Also Visited Zeus’ temple. And i’m pretty sure it’s the largest thing I’ve ever seen in my life.

and the original olympic stadium. it was refurbished for the first olympic games of modern times.

Then I went to Patra where the water is magical and the mountains are mystical.

Then I hopped on a ship and traveled through the waters and islands to make my way to Bari, Italy.

Well,

After March of this spring, life pretty much took off and I was lucky if I was in one place for more than a few days.  However, life constantly on the move was exciting, exhausting, stretching, and full of adventure.  There’s lot of stories to tell, and lots of pictures to show, however I’ll spare you the massive amounts of these aspects of travel until later.  Hopefully I’ll continue this throughout the rest of the summer and I’ll post some of my random stories from the spring (including photos) throughout the summer.  For now, I’ll just give you a quick highlight of where I’ve been since the last time I wrote:

#1. Germany Train Trip — March 28, 2009

      When:21 hours Where: 4 German Cities How Much: 7 Euro Who: 8 Friends How: Countless trains 

I got a group together to go travel throughout the country semi-spontaneously on the train.  We left at about 4:45 AM on a saturday morning, and hit cities (Ulm, Augsburg, Nurnberg, Stuttgart) for anywhere from 1 hour to 4 hours, deciding once we got to each city where we wanted to head next on the train.  We got home at about 2 AM the next morning.  It’s become known as the “Whirlwind Germany Tour”.

Highlight of the trip: I climbed to the tippee top of the tallest church in the world in Ulm.

   

And then I studied hard, took a final early, and began my post-semester travels throughout Greece, Italy, Switzerland, France, and Ireland.  Those tales will have to come a little later….

Well, I think I’ve mentioned before that the classes here are called “intensives” because they happen so fast and we only have one or two at a time.  But this past week was just another little reminder that they are called that for a reason.  I had finals for Spring term 1 last week, and I still have a final paper from that term to write by 11AM on Wednesday (the teacher was nice enough to extend the deadline to give us some more time to work on everything else).  However… that means that I’ve now begun another session, and I’m still not done with the last one.  I’m getting better at adjusting to the system though and I honestly do feel like I’m getting the hang of it.  It’s just quite different. 

The session I just started today is a 3 week long intensive, but I only have one 5 unit class for the term, so thats good.  The class I’m in is Johanine lit. and dean flemming (one of the most renowned bible scholars/teachers in the nazarene church, so I’m told) is the teacher which is great.  I had the class today for 3 hours, and it actually was great.  I’m really looking forward to this class, and just the fact that I only have that one class to focus on.  I just have to get this paper for the last term done and then I’ll be golden…

On another note… the weather here is a little bit bipolar.  But being a person that enjoys change I’m actually kind of enjoying it.  It’s been sunny and warm a couple days in a row, and then it snowed one day, and was overcast the next day and a half, then sunny for another day, and now today was again overcast and there’s a huge wind storm going on right now.  It’s supposed to snow tomorrow. 

I am looking forward to it being consistently warm and sunny though.  I’m already breaking out the shorts, tanks, and flips.  =)

While I’m still having a great time here, I am beginning to miss people from home.  and foods from home.  I’m not ready to leave this place yet, but I am ready to see those I love.  It will be a good celebration time to go home in the summer and see everyone.  This is definitely the longest I’ve ever been away from home, but this is also the most peace I’ve felt about being away. 

well… back to my paper now.  I’ll update you guys on more goings-ons after i turn this baby in on Wednesday!

I just watched The Constant Gardener for the third time.  It’s been over a year since the last time I watched it.  It’s not a film to watch when I want to be entertained.  its a film I watch when I need to be kicked in the butt.  when I need to feel my gut wrenching.  when i need to feel physically sick because of the ways that injustices come to exist in our world by the very same people who stand as the names and figureheads of “forward thinking”. 

I’m having flashbacks to the people i met in malawi.  to the endless hours of wrestling, crying, screaming, journaling, running, praying, and longing that i spent after I returned and as i learned about other situations of injustice throughout the world, especially the world of africa.  I’m having flashbacks to my african cultures and histories class.  to dicussions of compassionate ministries within the church. 

Why are people in “africa” treated as affordible losses.  why do 16 german lives merit front page news but thousands of 3rd world lives are lost daily to the same disease: brokenness. 

This quote that ends the movie, for lack of a better word, haunts me.  It has since the first time I watched this movie and again was re-branded on my mind:

“No, there are no murders in Africa. Only regrettable deaths. And from those deaths we derive the benefits of civilization, benefits we can afford so easily… because those lives were bought so cheaply. ”

Sometimes i think about how much easier life was when i was blind to the social injustices ravaging our world today.  But now that i know… i cant go back.  I cant help but think of raymond, mwabi, gloria, immaculate, desmond, precious………… i cant help it that i care. 

Two other david crowder songs: “I need words”.  and, “Surely we can change something”.

I probably won’t get much sleep tonight…too much on my mind and heart.

   For the second time today, I reiterate — things seem to change drastically when all of a sudden numbers and statistics have names and faces.