I just watched The Constant Gardener for the third time.  It’s been over a year since the last time I watched it.  It’s not a film to watch when I want to be entertained.  its a film I watch when I need to be kicked in the butt.  when I need to feel my gut wrenching.  when i need to feel physically sick because of the ways that injustices come to exist in our world by the very same people who stand as the names and figureheads of “forward thinking”. 

I’m having flashbacks to the people i met in malawi.  to the endless hours of wrestling, crying, screaming, journaling, running, praying, and longing that i spent after I returned and as i learned about other situations of injustice throughout the world, especially the world of africa.  I’m having flashbacks to my african cultures and histories class.  to dicussions of compassionate ministries within the church. 

Why are people in “africa” treated as affordible losses.  why do 16 german lives merit front page news but thousands of 3rd world lives are lost daily to the same disease: brokenness. 

This quote that ends the movie, for lack of a better word, haunts me.  It has since the first time I watched this movie and again was re-branded on my mind:

“No, there are no murders in Africa. Only regrettable deaths. And from those deaths we derive the benefits of civilization, benefits we can afford so easily… because those lives were bought so cheaply. ”


Sometimes i think about how much easier life was when i was blind to the social injustices ravaging our world today.  But now that i know… i cant go back.  I cant help but think of raymond, mwabi, gloria, immaculate, desmond, precious………… i cant help it that i care. 

Two other david crowder songs: “I need words”.  and, “Surely we can change something”.

I probably won’t get much sleep tonight…too much on my mind and heart.

   For the second time today, I reiterate — things seem to change drastically when all of a sudden numbers and statistics have names and faces.